I Tried To Make Healthy Edible Cookie Dough

[Music]today we’re gonna make cookie dough Ineed an adult I am an adult today we’regonna make cookie dough you guys I’vehad nothing but free time with my handI’ve had so much time so much time toomuch time and instead of drinking myselfinto oblivion like normal Michael woulddo I’m trying to better myself nowplease don’t do please cannot wait tilI’m donejust washer yeah cuz it’s gonna fuck itup on the mic it makes really stronggive me like an hour we have all daywhere you going Martha Stewart wouldnever stand for this Martha Stewartwould be like quiet on the set thatbitch will go back to jail what’s onething I love cookies fuck youwhat’s one way to make that unhealthyeating the cookie dough raw I feel likeI’ve successfully managed to say theword raw in every single one of my mostrecent videos is my mind trying to tellme something and after spending sometime looking around online and tweakingthe recipe a little bit I think I havesuccessfully come up with a gluten freevegan low sugar low calorie cookie doughor at least that’s what I’m gonna tellmyself tonight when I’m stonedeating it with a spoon to not feelguilty the first thing you’re gonna needis some flour you could use all-purposeflour but in order to make this glutenfree I’m gonna go with coconut flour Idon’t even have a gluten allergy I’mjust trying to make something thateverybody can do apparently though youcan’t just eat this stuff raw it’s I’mtelling you it’s following me in orderto make the flour edible you have toroast it firstskinny-ass crusty ass dusty ass bitchcome over there snatch that we’ve allthe soppida hey I treat the flour youusually have to preheat the oven andleave it in there for about sevenminutes or at least until it’s about 160degrees but we’re too lazy for that andwe’re just gonna microwave this so whatI’ve done is I’ve taken three cups andget out of the kitchen not a time notbit time this is why we can’t film withthe roommates being home so what I’vedone is I’ve taken three cups of mygluten-free flour I put it in a bowl andthen we’re gonna put it in the microwaveand then you take it out up to 30seconds stir it put it back in andyou’re supposed to like check it untilit’s at like 160 degrees but we’re notgonna do that because if you’re anythinglike me you’re most likely stoned out ofyour mind when you’re doing this is itdone yetnot yet it’s hot as fuck so I’m gonna goahead and assume that it’s done itdoesn’t need to be safe I’m just feedingit to people later eventually people aregonna stop accepting food for me butnext you’re gonna want to set yourflower over to the side to cool becauseit has to be completely cooled downbefore you can use it again so chill thefuck out bro we got a cream things greatI’m great at creaming on things do Ihave another Bowl do I have anything atall that’s what we don’t let everybodyknow how fucking broke you are okay Idon’t see an exact measurement I justsee a stick of butter but in order tomake this vegan I got vegan avocadobutter I’m sure I’m doing somethingwrong and someone will let me know thatin the comments since it’s vegan butteryou could use even more of it and it’sstill healthy because that’s how thatworks right I don’t know how much astick of butter is so I’m just gonna I’mjust gonna put a shit ton of it in thebowl I want you inside of me I’m like abottom for butter that should be at-shirt bottoms for butter next thingwe’re gonna do is add ingranular sugar and our brown sugar I’veopted to use sugar substitutes in orderto keep this somewhat healthy but if youwant this to you know taste good youdon’t have to do that you could just useregular sugar and brown sugar and thenif it doesn’t taste good we could justlike fix it lateryou know that’s why baking with me isfun cuz you never know what you’re gonnaget and if you don’t like it you couldjust throw it away and try again like anabortion okay I I mean that wasn’t evenfunnyanyone out there wondering I’m usingsworps sugar substitute they make it inregular and in brown sugar this is not asponsor I just think it’s really goodoh the brown sugar is hard as my dickgood thing I got a nice that’s howthat’s supposed to look right I thinkI’m gonna need a bigger bowl so I’mgonna go ahead and put it in thisprobably should have done that in thebeginning well I’m pretty sure the brownsugar is expired but if it wasn’t thiswas the gray right now we’re gonna addit a little bit of sea salt into ourcream mixture brown sugar has dissolvedyep that’s fine we’re guessing here justlike a pedophiles dick in a playgroundwe can only go up from here what is itwith me these fucked up Joe next we’regonna add in the milk but in order tokeep it dairy we’re gonna use the nutmilk any kind of nut milk works fine butI personally recommend cashew milkbecause it makes things extra creamlet’s go with like two cups gonna goahead and mix it up avoiding spilling itover and getting more bugs than youalready have in your apartment I’m gonnawant to mix this a lot more than I’mable to right now so I’m actually gonnatransfer it into a pot to like really beable to go ham on gonna stir this upgood until everything is dissolvedtogether and then you’re gonna come andget your flour and pour in a little bitat a time yeah that’s a little bit likeha oh I spilled it all over the floorthat’s fine I will clean that up in alittle bit you’re gonna want to stir itin and you’re gonna see it start tothicken and slowly come together Ohbitchy Niki’s now I’m gonna go ahead andput the rest of it in oh yeah it’sstarting to look like you know all rightnext you’re gonna go ahead and add insome dairy free chocolate chips ifyou’re not trying to make it vegan justtrying to make it slightly healthierjust go with the higher cacao percentageand that will do the trick stir thisbitch up nice you to add in aboutanother cup of milk some more sea saltsea salt brings out the flavor and thenwhat you’re left with is basically atype of cookie now and if you’resomebody like mewho hasn’t had sugar in months and isprobably stoned I’m sure it’ll tastegreat let’s taste it I forgot thevanilla extractI forgot the vanilla extract and nowthat extract I was like wait damn minokay now let’s try it okay okay sohere’s the thing does it taste likecookie dough yes look like a much morepowdery version it gotta taste likesomebody just took a chocolate chipmuffin and crumbled it all up in a popbut like that’s fine with me I’ll stilleat that the fuck is great ooh and ifyou wanna do you could even add in ascoop of protein powder we got it likeyou’re from New Jersey but this is goodI’m proud of myselfoh my god I recommend you make good ifyou make this make sure to post it andtag me in it or use the hashtag Mikemgtv so I can comment on it if youenjoyed this video don’t forget to likeit and subscribe for future videos I putthem out every week but sometimes I’mlate just like your mom and in thecomments down below let me know is thereanything you want to see me try to bakeand make it healthy any desserts youwant to see me attempt to make healthierlet’s see if I can do it be sure tofollow me on all forms of social mediayou can find me everywhere at my comeseasy be and be sure to check out myweekly podcast with Mac the audio comesout every Wednesday and the visual comesout every Friday on messy pod YouTubechannel and if that’s it guys my name isMike on GTV and you are fucking welcomethis is wait follow my kids stay thereTed so kiss like a kiddamn right hide sprayed there I got aweap I got a handfulnever cheat when the game don’t playfair yeah when we tickle stands up andlay there she rides my Dave like theState Fair I was two fuckers to take offhighway bears