How NOT to Bake Cookies

ohI don’t know where to begin but can wejust look at this for a second I’mtrying to make cookies and this is notrightthe butter is not melting and I wouldlike it to be known that it said to notmelt the butter I put it in themicrowave for 10 seconds to soften itand it almost melted it are those chunksof butter yes I would do you yeah youcan see hey what it was that ASMR ohyeah wait cookies thumbnailyes Maggie so I just wanted to come onhere and I guess I’m just gonna flop itaround until it melts I mean big-asschunk of butter it’s like how do youmess this upand I can cook says you will need onestick of margarine or butter I did ithow it said one egg 2 tablespoons ofwater and one eggoh that’s it oh no it’s justor this is orestes to prepare withvegetable oil make dough using 1/3 cupof oil 2 tablespoons of water 1 eggtechnically all you needed was thebutter in the egg we’re gonna just do itI mean Paula Deen does it all the timewell just pretend it’s more butter ifyou use an extra virgin olive oil thestrong-tasting kind[Music][Music]supposed to grease the pan for cookiesthey will burn did you do that already -ok no I know that’s a no-no look I neverclaimed to be a baker a cooker yesdo I think never this is wrong wellwe’re just gonna check in with y’allmonka key is Spanish for butteroh that’s hot this is a disasterno I really can’t cook I know I can’t Iwould have done it I mean the onlyperson he tasted the olive oil right Imean it smells all I can taste is myfailure yeah okay grab the olive oil notthe vegetable drop a wheel everywhere[Laughter]this is not right so it’s not great sowe’re gonna check back in in a fewminutes time just at the timer tochecking on the cookies it’s a littlemore um should we get like a toothpickand poke it yeah oh yeah our use Oh am Isure I mean I’m no scientist but oh it’sin herethat’s still cookie dough the ins aregonna be like a pretzel okay all righthey Siri set a timer for four minutesokay your timer set for four minutesit’s cookie fiber cakes I don’t thinkit’s that bad mm I mean it’s really notbad I could’ve done better it’sdefinitely not cookies definitely notdogswe try well you want to go get some moreyeah take two so like I do now we’reheaded to the store to try and getmore cookies cuz we’re gonna try this asecond time because on the pack it’svery misleading first first first shouldI say it myself I’m getting carsick I’mkidding she swears the dream of me okaywe’ll check back in I keep looking atmyself over here I’m gonna read[Music][Music]oh that’s real specific food it’s a dollhair oh all the sexist I have a stickabout I want this one doesn’t why doesthis one not need eggs and you like ityou[Music]give me some of them french fried taters[Music]this still doesn’t feel right where’sthe moisture I’m about to just do my ownthing I think it needs it says 1/4 cupof butter or half of that yeah Dagny ofit partially produced with geneticengineering and it like morph togetherwe did it with make cookies we didn’tmake cookies okay okay that was a lotharder than it should have been I knowand they’re literally the samedumpster-diving they’re literally thesame cookies same thingBetty cry baby cry what’s up Betty whatthe hell but the instructions arecompletely differentyeah the small bag that we use that’sthough we’re sitting on cameraOlly needs butter and water but this onethein an egg it doesn’t don’t make nostance not at allbut we did it yeah that’s all thatmatters it worked so I got my birthdaycookieswell alright y’all it was a success it’staken all day you see it was daylight at10:30 and we started filming what at1:30 is your – yeah cuz we had a lot tocatch up on and it’s 609 so at leastfour hours making cook eat well hope youenjoy watching our disaster of a videoby all bye