LCP 540: How Do You Cook Condom Bread?

hi everybody its max Kevin it’s little
kitty how’s it gone everybody I went to
work today and you know let’s give him
some of my students the the assignments
there you know got a test next week you
know I’m telling them what to study and
how to study and give them some little
homework and every time every time I
give them a homework or assignment
they’re like oh you know we’re like
every time in class when I tell them to
like you know practice the practice
whatever what it is that we’re studying
they’re always like oh I was just like
well what well what are you doing here
you know you came here to study English
right you want it you want to improve
your English right that’s like every
time I tell them like how to study their
stuff you know they’re I mean they don’t
do it it’s just like well well why are
you at this school if you already know
if you already know how to study what
why are you here if your English is
already perfect why are you here anyway
uh-oh
I’m not too frustrated you know it’s a
lot of it yeah I don’t understand the
students there you know it’s like
they’re paying all this money they just
haven’t but they still have no
motivation to study you know I mean when
I was in Germany I was fucking studying
like I’ll go to class and I would come
home and I would just study all day yeah
you know how it study six hours at
school and then I’ll come home and I’d
just fucking read for six hours huh
not for six months there now first six
months I just studied like 12 hours a
day and then the second six months I
actually started to become pretty good
at German so like I didn’t need to study
as much and I just booked in party did
fucking Berlin did Berlin nightlife bro
the club I’m in used to be a Gestapo
prison did you know if you guys ever
been to Berlin you know of course for
the for the young kids there that don’t
know Berlin used to be separated into
two sides the East Side West Side with
little wall and middle you know build
the wall yeah yeah for all the people
saying the wall won’t work i mean i mean
i guess you know fundamentally it won’t
work but it it seemed to work in berlin
you know
it was really it was kind of tough for
those uh I mean not that I know that I
think you know we should stop
immigration but uh you know I heard one
person all that all that will do will
empower the drug cartels more because
they’ll be the only people with a way
across the wall and so yeah and that’s
what kind of hell wasn’t uh Berlin too
you know only yeah they pay a lot of
money you know you have to suck a lot of
dicks if you wanted to go over that wall
man
they fuckin shoot you man you try to
skip over that wall they just shoot yeah
can you imagine if we did that here in
America you know people trying to sneak
in a country they just shoot him
holy moly all the all the Bernie Sanders
would lose his shit huh anyway yeah well
it’s the time oh yeah Berlin dude so
offer you young kids for you young uns
you know Polly used to be separated in
two cities cuz after we after we
defeated after we defeated defeated
Hitler yeah us red-blooded Americans
defeated the Nazi scum and saved the
world the goddamn brewskis try to take
over Europe and you know they split up
Germany and um each of the each of the
Allied powers took took control of the
four parts of Germany and then they
split Berlin also into four parts but
what ended up happening is the three
parts were like America France and the
UK and you know that was on the
capitalist side so they all you know
joined forces and that became West
Germany in West Berlin and then you know
East German East Berlin uh for about 50
years there until they ran out of bread
was it I was doing okay I remember to
when I was going there they were they’re
having this poll like they were polling
kids and like kids didn’t even like some
German kids didn’t even know what the
Berlin Wall was or whatever just god I
think that maybe I been a fake poll but
I think it’s kind of like kids now I
know maybe they don’t know 9/11 you know
there are little fourteen year old kids
you know then they grew up after that
like what’s not a lamb and mommy mommy
you need to wait play but I just went
Duty first when duty in the toilet I’m
12 years old and I just went
duty in the toilet mommy mommy wipe my
butt you know cuz cuz kids can’t do shit
anymore honey you know cuz they’re
fuckin mom these are wiping their butts
with wet wipes even though they’re 12
years old yeah so I I don’t know I just
kind of felt like similar there you know
people people forgetting them it’s sort
of a we had the club’s man the club’s in
Berlin right like basically all then all
the nightclubs all the good night clubs
are in East Berlin and a lot of a Merlin
like former Gestapo prisons well not a
lot one of them there’s this one club
that’s in a former Gestapo prison it’s
Underground they still have some of that
the bars or whatever the jail cell bars
or whatever was a place to go yeah oh
Berlin
Oh Berlin Germany would be one of the
best countries in the world if it wasn’t
fucking the weather wasn’t so goddamn
terrible all the time you know that’s
nothing with Japan do the weather it’s
just fucking I think that’s why I have
to live in San Diego it’s like I got to
live in this arid environment yeah where
it’s dry and sunny I can’t stand I can’t
can’t live I can’t live unless it’s dry
and sunny which kind of limits my
choices you know it’s either Southern
California or like the Mediterranean
area I guess I guess I can move to
Europe and let’s live live along the
Mediterranean Sea yeah Oh anyway yeah
you know so I was cooking my Dindin
tonight I was cooking my dinner I went
to go throw stuff away and the the
kitchen trash can there open up open up
the top of the trash you know stepped on
the little step to open up the top of
the trash can
and there was a there was a box of
Trojan condoms I was a Trojan condom box
in the in the kitchen trash can there
that house kind of it’s kind of weird
for me to say was I where I was like
what why is this what who threw this
away here so I mean obviously what
happened was was either well my
roommates didn’t want to throw that away
in their own in their own trash can and
their own
or they emptied their own trash can in
the kit in the kitchen trash can instead
of just going outside that’s one
possibility or the other possibility
someone was cooking something which
needed condoms condoms is one of the
ingredients you know second all I’m
making this new I’m making this new dick
breaded side you know you need to need a
pound of sugar a cup of flour a stick of
butter seven condoms four eggs and the
secret ingredient love love and jizz
that’s inside the condoms yes I know
what was going on maybe someone was
fucking in the kitchen last night no no
no but that’s kind of a weird place to
throw away your your box of condoms
there hey hey I got an idea maybe don’t
throw away your box of Trojan condoms in
the kitchen trash you know maybe just
maybe just you know hold it in your own
trash or you know maybe take it outside
him fuck you I’m just gonna I’m just
gonna you know every time I beat off and
I use some toilet paper to wipe up my
juices yeah I’m just throw that my
kitchen could just sink there huh my
little white bee wipes how god this is
pretty gross man opening I just love
just lost my 1 female listener yeah who
was my mom actually yeah sorry about
that mom hope you still love me hope I’m
still in the will don’t cut me out of
the will ok anyway I guess that’s it for
today thanks wasn’t me I’ll see you
tomorrow